I’ve been working at my own business now for 2 years, at first it was very part-time and now it is time to jump head long in and do nothing else. I laugh at commercials on the radio that say “Make more money! Start your own business! We will help you!” I’ve been surprised at how the banks consider me to not be working when I have never worked so hard in my life….I don’t even qualify for a payday loan…I don’t get paid:) The government sure sees me as “working”, I’m in debt more to them than over double my credit card limit! I loved being a part of the Regional District start-up business contest…I worked night and day on their endless requirements, sacrificing everything, only to watch a cupcake business walk away with the prize and sell her business the next month.
I’m struggling still to balance “work” and….well everything else. I have horses that I can’t ride, kids I can’t spend time with, animals that get no attention, a house that never gets cleaned and a hubby that feels neglected. Although we stuff 4 (part-time) kids into our 2 bedroom trailer to make this business work…I love this business.
I’m proud that I have created 3 kennels. Kennels built and maintained by hand, not hired out. I may have a baby bed in my living room, but she loves it! By the time the banks decide I’m worth it, I won’t need them! My amazing partner in this world has taken all of his holidays (not easy when the mill depends so much on him) so that I can get a break and look after me.
The best reward…Trouble did not want to go home. He needed coaxing to get up and follow his Dad outside, and through the gate. While his Dad made his bed in the truck he stood at the gate asking to come back in. It broke my heart:). I’m proud that I can be that person for them. I’m proud to be that person.

I thrive on silence, I can regenerate and focus. My beloved Migon inspired me in so many ways, she taught me a bit about what she had learned in Mexico during her meditation retreat. I was able to grasp it and practise it instantly….Migon was a great teacher? Yes but….it felt too easy. I eventually realized I had always been meditating. When I was younger and trying to get away from life I would sit at the lake and focus on the tiny waves methodically jumping over rocks small enough to be considered sand, without thoughts, without english words bouncing around in my head and destroying the peace I felt in that focus.
This thing I’ve decided to do is chaos! Complete and utter chaos! Dogs barking, chewing and needing….humans worrying, instructing and distraught….cats frightened and confused. All these emotions are overwhelming to me and then in my quiet time I get to do paperwork…..ugggg!
I have 4 geriatric dogs in the kennel right now, 11 years and older. They have earned their space and their quiet. Lulu is amazing. I could meditate by watching her eyes, so kind and peaceful. I sit with her and the chaos melts away while she chatters her teeth in happiness to have me near. Does life get better?

I’m looking forward to a new year, putting this one behind me. I took a major leap of faith starting this business. A kindred soul said to me today….”If you don’t leap, your stuck”.
I work very hard, up at 4:30-5:00am with Jason and head to bed by 8pm if I’m lucky. 7 days a week. Clients at my door starting at 6am. Tonight Jason and I were excited to be completely anti social and watch a movie! Instead Mom and I took Jason and Dan for birthday dinner on New Years Eve. Not even gone for 2 hours and I came home to an irritated, snippy client, upset I wasn’t home.
During the next 2 hours while I cleaned, fed, tucked everyone into bed, turned on the night light and filled up the fire…. all I could think was “Why am I working this hard if I can’t even go for dinner on New Years Eve?”
Jason made me a perfect cup of hot ovaltine when we were done and my final thought this year before I cover myself and Henry in a warm blanket is…..
“Leap! Don’t get stuck!”
I may be stuck physically but spiritually I’m free. Free to make my own decisions, dictate my own feelings, change my thoughts, plan for a break, spend time with the important people who love me…. Leap! Soar! Choose!