Yesterday I finally unpacked. I’m not sure if this was a way for me to emotionally stay connected to the beach or if I was just procrastinating. My vacation this year was an important catalyst for change. I saw my 40th birthday come and go as I sat in the sun and buried my face in a good book! I’m not upset about turning 40, I’m upset that I am not living an authentic life. I thought that a break away from the kennel would see me home with more dedicated focus to deal fluidly with extremely long hours and unrealistic demands. The funny thing about unrealistic is that reality is just clearly unattainable. Who’da thought!
A few things have taken place since my return to snow that have solidified my resolve to make changes to live a better life. An owner arrived who was used to the stereotypical “Your dog is happy here!” kennel response and walked away very angry at my honesty that their pup was miserable without them. After feeling completely helpless and frustrated with my failure to make them happy I started to understand why “doggie storage unit” type kennels lie to owners. Some people do not want to know how their dog is. Some people actually want me to lock their dog up and ignore them for weeks on end providing only the basic necessities of life so that the dog is happy to see them when they return. I’m learning to not take it personally.
This has me thinking about what makes me different as a kennel. Am I just a “doggie storage unit”? Do I want to cater to people who want this for their dog? I am different because I bond with these animals. I love them truly. I integrate these scared pups into my family as much as I can so they can enjoy their “vacation”. I can only do this if the owners are open minded and love their dogs without selfish motives.
I had a sweet gentleman sit with me while I was grooming his pup. I love his honesty and candor when he point blank asks “If your advertising says ‘3 groomers working 7 days a week’, why did I have to wait 2 weeks for this appointment?”. He said it so sweetly that I still giggle at his well meaning question. I quickly explained the situation to the best of my ability and I hope gave him a satisfactory answer.
I started thinking about what I could do to change the grooming situation as I saw it. We’ve had 2 groomers in town move on to other things leaving me and Amanda a nice busy business. I like being busy. I don’t like upsetting people by making them wait despite the fact that my question to owners is “Is there really such a thing as an emergency groom?”
Jason starts his day 3:45am. I feel like a slug when he wakes me up as he leaves for his hour commute to Houston. I try to start my day quietly with a tea break for me:) I usually end up starting my work day about 5:30am. I get no coffee breaks or lunch breaks and if I’m lucky I’m done my day about 8pm allowing me to say goodnight to the boys. On busy days when I have training or a chatty client I may not finish my chores until 9 or 10pm. I focus on trying to get all the chores done so I have enough time to make dinner for Jason(admittedly a rare occasion), and he can come home and relax for a few minuets before bed.
My goals seem simple but life is not simple. Half way through a grueling day and I get served with court papers. Yep! 7 years into my separation/divorce and I’m still going to supreme court to defend my life. The good news is that I clearly have a public image of being highly successful at this business. I’m not good with numbers, don’t want to be educated to a point where I understand them! My accountant gives a cute little snort when I ask a silly question or she has to explain a concept to me starting from the basics. I’m hell bent to teach my children that it’s the small things that add up and allow you to enjoy those things in life that are important to you. I don’t need to understand numbers for these teachings.
All of these musing has me dedicated to change!
-Making everyone happy is unrealistic. Making myself happy is achievable.
-Long hours will not stop until I stop them.
-Having an honest business and an honest outlook will make me different and people who love their dogs unselfishly will appreciate my candor.
-I will be a better role model to my children when they see me make changes for them and for me.
Tuesday starts a new year! Again…he he. I’m allowed as many “new years” as it takes me to get it right!

My last day in paradise….sigh….so cliché! I start every day with a good morning from Jason who prophetically told me this morning “…with many more to come!”.
I started to figure out who I was at the tail end of my marriage over 6 years ago. After years of being a stay at home Mom I was forced to find a job. My previous career as a draftsman had long since changed to a point of being unrecognisable and if I was going to start all over again, all I wanted to do was work with animals. Lois took me in and taught me everything I needed to know!
The compassion of like minded people at the vet clinic was inspiring and I quickly took home every lost and injured animal that needed me. Although rewarding fostering is a heartbreaking job. I would spend hours nursing and caring for litters of kittens whose stray mother had been killed, find them homes only to watch them die young. I learned early that education was key! The stumbling block seemed to be that people do not want to be educated.
Understandably so…life is hard, if we are well educated against negative things we have no excuse when we are in a situation that we cannot handle.
3 years ago I made some tough decisions, I knew who I was and I knew I had to let go. I could no longer be the single mother struggling with a part time job (that I loved!), cleaning houses, sitting behind a government desk or putting on a hard hat to walk through a mill to count numbers! This was it! Start my business!
I am now at a point in my life where I can love the animals in my life with careless abandon….kinda like Gramma…love them and send them home! I am sitting on the beach today missing my Duke, Kooper, Wilson, Danzy, Dax, Maggie….I’m excited to see my Henry, Roo and goofy Baloo. I miss my chickens!
I feel calm and focused, relaxed and ready to face the world.

One question plagues my quiet mind as I relax on my holiday….what is the point of my blog? I started this when I started the website cause….well…that’s what your supposed to do…isn’t it? I called it Bakers Acres knowing that it would be more about the kennel than about me. Suites me fine! But…most of the adorable moments at the kennel have to go on facebook or you tube so why would I repeat it all here? All important information will be featured on my website, not here…so back at square one. What is this blog for?
In the constant ebb and flow of the Mexican waves I think about my animals back home. I miss them. I know that Jason is the only person on earth who will watch over them the same way I do. That doesn’t stop my incessant “Send me pictures!”, “What’s my Henry doing?”, “Do they miss me?”. I imagine taking my babes to a strange place with strange people and hoping that they will do as I would. Hoping they will see the beauty and uniqueness that is my Rueben or Baloo. I can only trust in myself that I have chosen the best for them.
That’s it! That’s what this blog is about…it’s about the kennel so the name is justified but it is about me (groan). I’ve demonstrated that the kennel is who I am with my sacrifices, dedication, passion and hard work. This blog is important so that you can leave your pet with someone you know. Someone you can trust. This blog will give you a sense of who I am, what I believe in, my short falls and my strengths.
A person I do not admire told me once that to take a stand on any one subject when you are in business is suicide. I’ve seen that demonstrated in big centers where people stop taking their dogs to a kennel because the owners eat meat. I do not believe that to hide who I am fosters trust. I have been born and raised in Burns Lake and although I have many different ideas about how animals are to be treated I do my best to respect that it is those ideas that make me a motivated individual. I believe I live in an open minded, forgiving, generous community that will overlook my strong passionate stands and see it as a strength instead of a weakness.

Soaking up the sun. Perfect day. Jason is at home working hard for the business. I think he’s worried I’m not coming home so he sends me pictures of my babes:) I love this horse. Nucents; name well earned! He’s such an amazing boy and I am bonded to him tighter than any other horse in the pack. He reminds me of Joey the way he picks and picks at the other horses until they pay attention to him. He’s fun and free and a total nuisance! He’s like Mikey too in his soft nature and loving nuzzles. As a untrained 3 year old horse he was happy to host the kids on his back with calm curiosity. He’s extremely forgiving to my uneducated requests and is happy to learn with me. He’s respectful and humble to his “bottom of the barrel” position in the pack and indulges my incessant need for cuddles by being the perfect height to lean his very heavy chin on my shoulder.
We are the perfect team….Love this horse! These pictures will bring me home. I’ve waited a life time for Nucents and now that he’s chosen me I will never let him go! Be good my little Nuisance!

Finally made it to paradise. I thought saving my change for 2 years was a challenge…..getting the business and pets and clients ready for my absence was a bigger challenge! Jason took his holidays to allow me mine. Seems like a huge sacrifice…and it is. Nobody told us that this business did not allow for coffee breaks, lunch breaks, weekends or evenings, let alone holidays. Last year Jason took Peytanne to Vancouver for his holiday leaving me at home to run the business. I know it’s not healthy to take separate vacations and we are both working hard to remedy that but until then…here I am. Jason is at home struggling to remember all my directions…I stayed up late hours and woke up early the weeks before I left to get him ready…poor guy…created a whole manual with detailed notes and maps for everything he needed to know. He is handling the business with public grace and an occasional private tantrum over messenger.
My only challenge on this trip is to sit. I am on day four and have greedily devoured two books in the sun. This morning I was forced to stop procrastinating and get back into some computer demons I have been neglecting. Fascinating thing is that an issue that has been haunting me required no thought at all this morning. Amazing what a long weekend off can do!
I’m very close to publishing my web site. A feat that I was sure I was incapable of doing. I know that as close to pushing ‘publish’ as I think I am, there will be more frustrating hoops to jump through. I am prepared! A quiet unseen figure burying my feet in the warm sand and closing my eyes as I tilt my face toward the intense Mexican sun. Breathing in…quieting my thoughts…breathing out…aware of the waves…breathing in…shhhh…breathing out…listening in the moment. No clutter, no demands, just clear thinking and a happy heart. I can tackle anything life throws at me today!

I’ve been working at my own business now for 2 years, at first it was very part-time and now it is time to jump head long in and do nothing else. I laugh at commercials on the radio that say “Make more money! Start your own business! We will help you!” I’ve been surprised at how the banks consider me to not be working when I have never worked so hard in my life….I don’t even qualify for a payday loan…I don’t get paid:) The government sure sees me as “working”, I’m in debt more to them than over double my credit card limit! I loved being a part of the Regional District start-up business contest…I worked night and day on their endless requirements, sacrificing everything, only to watch a cupcake business walk away with the prize and sell her business the next month.
I’m struggling still to balance “work” and….well everything else. I have horses that I can’t ride, kids I can’t spend time with, animals that get no attention, a house that never gets cleaned and a hubby that feels neglected. Although we stuff 4 (part-time) kids into our 2 bedroom trailer to make this business work…I love this business.
I’m proud that I have created 3 kennels. Kennels built and maintained by hand, not hired out. I may have a baby bed in my living room, but she loves it! By the time the banks decide I’m worth it, I won’t need them! My amazing partner in this world has taken all of his holidays (not easy when the mill depends so much on him) so that I can get a break and look after me.
The best reward…Trouble did not want to go home. He needed coaxing to get up and follow his Dad outside, and through the gate. While his Dad made his bed in the truck he stood at the gate asking to come back in. It broke my heart:). I’m proud that I can be that person for them. I’m proud to be that person.

I thrive on silence, I can regenerate and focus. My beloved Migon inspired me in so many ways, she taught me a bit about what she had learned in Mexico during her meditation retreat. I was able to grasp it and practise it instantly….Migon was a great teacher? Yes but….it felt too easy. I eventually realized I had always been meditating. When I was younger and trying to get away from life I would sit at the lake and focus on the tiny waves methodically jumping over rocks small enough to be considered sand, without thoughts, without english words bouncing around in my head and destroying the peace I felt in that focus.
This thing I’ve decided to do is chaos! Complete and utter chaos! Dogs barking, chewing and needing….humans worrying, instructing and distraught….cats frightened and confused. All these emotions are overwhelming to me and then in my quiet time I get to do paperwork…..ugggg!
I have 4 geriatric dogs in the kennel right now, 11 years and older. They have earned their space and their quiet. Lulu is amazing. I could meditate by watching her eyes, so kind and peaceful. I sit with her and the chaos melts away while she chatters her teeth in happiness to have me near. Does life get better?

I’m looking forward to a new year, putting this one behind me. I took a major leap of faith starting this business. A kindred soul said to me today….”If you don’t leap, your stuck”.
I work very hard, up at 4:30-5:00am with Jason and head to bed by 8pm if I’m lucky. 7 days a week. Clients at my door starting at 6am. Tonight Jason and I were excited to be completely anti social and watch a movie! Instead Mom and I took Jason and Dan for birthday dinner on New Years Eve. Not even gone for 2 hours and I came home to an irritated, snippy client, upset I wasn’t home.
During the next 2 hours while I cleaned, fed, tucked everyone into bed, turned on the night light and filled up the fire…. all I could think was “Why am I working this hard if I can’t even go for dinner on New Years Eve?”
Jason made me a perfect cup of hot ovaltine when we were done and my final thought this year before I cover myself and Henry in a warm blanket is…..
“Leap! Don’t get stuck!”
I may be stuck physically but spiritually I’m free. Free to make my own decisions, dictate my own feelings, change my thoughts, plan for a break, spend time with the important people who love me…. Leap! Soar! Choose!